Love of uncertainty... In search of the American Dream pt 2

I am in love. I haven't met anyone new, there's no old relationship that resurfaced... I am merely alive and in tasting life's sweet colorings I find myself adrift in poverty, desperation, and love.

I know that all of the adults I looked up to when I was a kid had the same elements in their stories. "I didn't know what I wanted to do," "I was confused," "I hit the bottom." "Life just works out."

If I believe in any type of romance, or any romanticized ideas, the afore mentioned make up the list.

It's the idea that in every person's life there are times when the prospect of how you will survive is up in the air. The idea that the future is completely blank and while we aren't sure what horrors lie in the dark, we don't know what helping hand will be waiting for us either.

I'm at a stage in my life where I can't love any one person, but I love LOVE love the idea that fate has a love affair with my life and she is so much more interesting than any of the predictable girls I've been around of late. I haven't found the mystery that would hold my interest in a relationship yet, but I have found it in life and that makes living such an adventure.

This basically proves that I am an artist, because:

1. My brain is clearly not normal

and B. I love hard times so much!

It's as though when you get to bad times the grace to fake being successful is robbed by life and you are real and only what you are.

Well I don't know how much of that makes sense, but the thing to take away is this:

When you talk to some stupid 20 year old punk 20 years from now and look back to give seasoned advice, you'll look back on this. You will look back on the times when you had no idea where to go or what to say. And when you look back on it, my penny says you'll miss the uncertainty. maybe be jealous of the insecurity the youth you advice is feeling.

If you are uncertain of anything at this moment or worried about anything... try and enjoy it. Try to experience the craziness of being under 35 and not knowing what's next. Feel the love of fate and how awkward she is before you have your life resolved, Embrace her and enjoy each scare, because this love looks like it evens out in the future, and the only time to enjoy it is now.